


Dollhouse

by Okatte



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: FAHC, Fake AH Crew, Gen, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-26
Updated: 2015-11-26
Packaged: 2018-05-03 13:04:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5291924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Okatte/pseuds/Okatte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We'll be a perfect family.<br/>When you walk away, it's when we really play.</p><p>No family is perfect, but Ramsey's sure as hell looks it. </p><p>Based off the song "Dollhouse" by Melanie Martinez</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dollhouse

Kerry Shawcross was a nervous man by nature. Maybe it was his short stature, maybe it was he was constantly surrounded by men who could kill him without a second thought. He shook his head and breathed in the stale old money air of Vinewood. Motioning for the driver to leave, Kerry approached the mansion of Geoff Ramsey. Rumors floated around the Ramsey household like the flies around rotten cake. Some praised Ramsey for his reconstruction of his family’s entertainment industry and others whispered he got his money from more shady means.

    Far as Kerry knew, those people weren’t whispering anymore. But that was besides the point. As a representative of Roosterteeth, Kerry was to convince Ramsey to fund Roosterteeth’s more lucrative expenditures. He cracked a nervous half-grin as he rang the doorbell. That smuggling and protection services wouldn’t run themselves.    

    One ominous tone later, the ten-foot-tall mahogany door swept open without a sound. The interior was something out of a movie. Every wall was lined with ancient pictures, Roman and Greek wars, ancient English nobles, the French Revolution, and old photos from the Civil War and World War I. Kerry could scarcely keep his mouth from dropping as he surveryed the scene. Roosterteeth didn’t decorate their offices so beautifully.

    “You are Kerry Shawcross?”

    Swallowing, Kerry nodded at the redhead. “Yes.” And quickly followed up with “Of Roosterteeth.”

    The redhead smiled without showing any teeth. “Of course.” He adjusted his button-down shirt and motioned for Kerry to come in. “I am Michael Jones.”

    “One of Ramsey’s,” Kerry noted, looking in awe at the relics he passed.

    Michael hummed with approval. “Geoff asked I bring you to the parlor to discuss the deal.”

    That brought Kerry back from the awe of his surroundings. “That would be great.”

    Several hallways later, Michael pushed open another set of magnificent wood doors into a room straight out of 1800s literature.

    A fire blazed in a giant heart, brick composed the walls only to be covered by bookshelves and furs, and in a magnificent chair more suited to be in a king’s throneroom, sat Geoff Ramsey.

    “Shawcross.” Geoff greeted him, pouring another glass of whiskey. “Good to see that Roosterteeth still thinks I can do stuff.” He leaned back in his throne, staring down the broker with half-lidded eyes. “What the fuck do they want now?”

    Kerry blinked a couple times. “Well sir, we have eyes on expanding our territory and could use your support. The unnamed crew we’re going against have proved to be extremely resilient.” He waited for the other man to say something. Kerry hurriedly spoke again. “You would be reimbursed, be sure.”

    Ramsey hmm'ed his acknowledgement. Closing his eyes all the way, he called out. “What do you boys think?”

As if born from shadows, four figures appeared from the sides of the room.

“Really? You can’t take down and unnamed gang?” scoffed a skinny Hispanic kid from his position against the mantle. He looked up from his DS. “How do you think you’ll get better with our help?”

“You know best Geoff, following your lead,” spoke the only woman, another fiery redhead. She swayed her way over to Geoff’s chair and found a place on the arm. “You’ve done this a hundred times.”

Beads of sweat sprouted from Kerry’s forehead. This was not going well. Burnie would rip him a new one if he didn’t seal a deal with Ramsey. A wild thought spun into Kerry’s head.

“You would get say in the movement and happenings in the new territory,” he blurted out, immediately mentally slapping himself for the move. Forget the threat of not solidifying the deal. Burnie would kill him if Kerry promised a stranger say in the structure of Roosterteeth. This is why Kerry recommended Miles for this job. Luna was charismatic enough to convince someone to do anything.

“I don’t know about that Geoff,” a haughty voice called out. Kerry’s eyebrows lifted slightly. He didn’t know Ramsey took in foreigns. The voice laughed slightly. “That sounds like a lot of bloody work.”

Ramsey grinned at that. Sitting up, he took a swig of whiskey. “Righto Gavino.” He locked eyes with Kerry, his eyes alert and focused and nothing like the drunk everyone believed he was. The beads of sweat morphed into fountains. A giant question mark blinked on and off in Kerry’s head. Ramsey turned down say in Roosterteeth business? That didn’t sound like him.

“What do you think Ryan?” Ramsey shifted, still staring intently at Kerry with a cocky smile on his face. “What about all this new land and its power?”  
    A low chuckle emanated from behind Kerry’s chair. Lion’s den. That’s all Kerry could think of as he bolted up from his chair and looked at the voice. He had stumbled into a god damn lion’s den.

A giant figure revealed itself from behind the chair. Still laughing softly, the man showed a face out of nightmare. Red, black, and white. The colors of madness.

The madman spoke. “Why pay for lands we already own?”

Ramsey owned that land? That means the gang that was driving Roosterteeth into the ground was….

Ramsey smiled a shark’s smile.

This drunkard? Kerry spun, looking for a way out of the room. Fuck this, fuck this, just gonna nope his way out of here-

“Sorry Kerry, but we need to send a message.” Ramsey got up, brushing imaginary lint off his impeccable clothing. He yawned, rolling his shoulders back. “Roosterteeth has been a pain in the Fake AH Crew’s ass for a while now, but Burns and Hullum haven’t gotten the hint.” His shark’s grin turned evil. “Did’ja ever ask what happened to anyone who tried to broker a deal with us before?”

It was clear now. Why a more skilled dealer didn’t take this job, why Burnie hadn’t looked him in the eye when assigning him this deal. This was a last ditch attempt to ally with the crew that was driving Roosterteeth into the ground.

All Kerry would say was “The rumors were true.”

The kingpin nodded and put a finger to his lips. “Of course, but the public can’t know that.”  He gestured to the beauty and magnificence around him. “To the sheeps of Los Santos, we’re just a bunch of people that own a multi-million dollar entertainment industry.”

He straightened now, and looked at Kerry with the cold stare he’d seen Burnie use when ordering an assassination.

“Take him Ryan.”

Kerry wheeled around, but the madman was already reaching for him, a white cloth in grasp.

Oh how Kerry fought. Though he was on the smaller side, he had learned how to take care of himself. But that did jack shit against the strength of the madman.

Sorry Burnie, thought Kerry as he faded from consciousness.

He didn’t even wake up as he faded from existence.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like this has room to grow, so leave a comment if you want to read more! Also I don't know what happened to my indents and AO3 won't let me fix it. Comments and criticism welcome.  
> I'm on tumblr as okattematte
> 
> p.s. sorry kerry


End file.
